Tag Archives: contemporary romance

Boomerang Bride by Fiona Lowe

I am continuing my Harlequin book sale purchase reviews with this contemporary romance from Fiona Lowe. It was sufficiently entertaining for middling escapism, but suffered from being too neat and tidy in its resolutions and characters. I know it’s an escapist genre and I know that contemporary romances often have themes of family healing, but the story suffered from Saviour Syndrome.

Matilda Geoffrey has arrived in small-town Wisconsin from rural Australia in her grandmother’s wedding dress. Owing to grief over said grandma’s death (that’s the rationalization), Tildy has fallen prey to an online huckster who has taken her life savings and left her hanging. To be fair, he had spent three days with her in Sydney before she gave him all of her money, but it’s still a silly macguffin you have to go with to get to the rest of the story.  Baffled and broke, Tildy’s first encounter with an American is gorgeous “Viking” Marc Olsen who has arrived for Thanksgiving with his family. Driving his Porsche all the way from his fancy career as a New York architect, he is not happy to be home and things go from bad to worse when he learns his sister has a potentially life changing illness.

Tildy is a delight, but suffers from surfeit of pluck. Her life has been ruined. She is alone and friendless. She will rise again, but, for heaven’s sake, can she not have a true down or beleaguered moment? I don’t think she even cries, not even after a night sleeping in her car without adequate clothing or being accustomed to a new climate. She handles everything with aplomb. Tildy looks for a job and her efforts turn the local gift shop into a thriving wedding planning business. Tildy needs a place to live and Marc needs someone to help out with his sister’s illness, so she moves in to do the laundry and make wonderful meals and desserts. Marc’s sister needs a caregiver, Tildy is a registered nurse. Marc’s sister is struggling with her new body, Tildy helps a man enamoured of her to press his suit. I kept waiting for the supporting cast to exclaim “THANK GOD, YOU’RE HERE!” as Tildy whirls through their small town reviving its economy, winning everyone over, healing Marc’s family, finding a new partner for his sister, and saving him from a sterile, childless life as an incredibly successful loner.

If you would like to read a similar kind of story wonderfully executed, I highly recommend Susan Elizabeth Phillip’s laugh-out-loud funny romance Natural Born Charmer.

Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

Tank by M. Malone

Contemporary romance’s love affair with billionaire heroes continues. My assertion that being a billionaire is akin to living on another planet and that the transition is not as simple as “now I can afford to buy shoes” continues. In this first book in the Billionaire Bad Boys series by M. Malone, sets up the novels that follow while bring together a big lug and a sweet young woman.

From Amazon (with comments from me): Tank Marshall has anger issues. (He has PTSD, is scary for a living, and keeps weapons in his home.) Years ago he swore off fighting but everything in his life lately is out of control. (Not good for the guy with PTSD). His mom’s cancer is back and the deadbeat dad he hasn’t seen in years is offering an inheritance in exchange for redemption. (As is the way of fiction, he managed to abandon his wife and young sons, spread his seed to others, and make billions at the same time because that last thing is apparently quite straightforward.) So he prowls the streets at night, looking for an outlet for the rage. (He is introduced to the reader while looking for victims to defend and bad guys to pummel.)

There’s only one person that keeps him anchored in the midst of the chaos. One person untouched by violence and money and lies. Emma Shaw. (Redemptive Female – Table for One!)But the one thing that Tank hasn’t learned yet is that when billions are at stake, there’s no such thing as innocent. Because the only woman he trusts is the last woman he should. (This is an overstatement.)

Money. Changes. Everything. (I hear this is true, but would love to test it personally.)

End Amazon
 
As the first book in Malone’s series, the streets are not paved with gold yet, but Tank and his brother have received some money from their father. Not being stupid and needing to pay for medical expenses (*see photo below), they accepted the money, but being honourable, they are not sure they want to take all of it, or pay the price their dad requires for it, specifically spending time with him. Dealing with his father’s machinations, Tank has been spending a lot of time at his lawyer’s office and is warm for the form of the receptionist, Emma. She, in turn, has noticed him, at 6’5″ it’s hard not to, but he seems like a bad news and she has been trying to resist his weekly dinner invitation. When their paths cross outside the office, their relationship tentatively begins.
 
Like Tank, Emma has a history of trauma. Her parents were murdered during a home invasion during which she was hidden and therefore spared. Trying to get herself back on track, she wants to return to university with an eye to veterinary college and really needs money for tuition. When the nice old man she brings documents to offers her a MILLION DOLLARS if she can convince Tank to visit and she agrees which is, let’s all admit, a perfectly sensible thing to do. You can imagine what happens next: They fall hard and fast, she learns he is sweet beneath his behemoth exterior – even though the author often conveniently ignores their height difference – and everything is daisies and candy floss for about 10 minutes until all of the sundry plot complications explode simultaneously.
 
I didn’t dislike Tank,  but I didn’t particularly like it either and at some point I am going to write a diatribe about overkill in romance plotting, but not today as I was more concerned with the ongoing romance trope that violence management issues can be cured by love: “Ever since the beginning, being around you has been one of the only times I feel calm. Happy. You center me, Emma.” Is it her responsibility to keep him that way?  Can his outbursts really be that selective? What happens when he doesn’t feel calm around her? Will it involve all of the guns he keeps in his closet? The reader sees him respond with disproportionate violence when defending people, so how far does “but he would never hurt me” go?
*the photo below
 Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author orAuthor Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

The Game On Series: The Game Plan by Kristen Callihan

The Game Plan is the third novel in the Game On series about football players and the women that climb them. I loved this new adult romance. I LOVED IT even after getting annoyed with the author, Kristen Callihan, about her The Pig Becomes a Person plot in The Friend Zone.  I loved it so much that it started as a loan from a good friend and I went ahead and bought myself a copy that I have since re-read.

Fiona Mackenzie’s father and sister are sports agents. She has grown up around professional athletes, most particularly football players, and she wants nothing to do with them. Avoidance is a challenge as her sister is married to one and run-ins are inevitable.  Visiting said sister, Ivy, brother-in-law, Gray, and her new nephew, Fi finds another house-guest keeping company with her family. A close friend of Gray’s, Ethan Dexter is large, stoic, sweet, bearded, tall, artistic, gentle, lumbersexual… I need a moment…

 

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Good golly! Smokin’ hot hero alert!

…so Ethan is a close friend of the family and fellow football player with Fi’s brother-in-law. He adores Fi. He’s besotted and has been for a couple of years. (I never get tired of the “I have loved you from afar” trope.) He’s large, she’s tiny. He’s quiet, she’s “noise, noise, noise”. Taking a chance to get her attention, Ethan gains her interest, but their lives in different cities create obstacles, but that’s not the true challenge they face.Things go truly awry when a bounty is placed on Ethan’s virginity and Fi is caught in the resulting circus. This crisis allows The Game Plan to take on issues of sexual experience and consent in a way that will have you cheering in between bouts of fanning yourself over Ethan’s manifest hotness.

A truly enjoyable romance, The Game Plan is the best book by Callihan I have read so far and I expect I will read more; moreover, she should get a special award for how well she writes couple’s arguments. She’s very good with the smolder, too, but her fights are wonderfully realistic and intense.

More New Adult romance recommendations can be found here.

Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

Friends with Partial Benefits by Luke Young

If this book was half as saucy and funny as it thinks it is, Luke Young could make a fortune. Wait. According to Amazon: Over 1.4 million eBooks downloaded! With the sixth and final book released, now is the time to start the hilarious and sexy Friends With Benefits series. Seriously? I’m going to go rethink my life. The book review proper will continue when I return.

[musical interlude]

From Amazon: Jillian Grayson is a disillusioned divorcée and best-selling romance novelist who suddenly can’t write a chapter without her hunky male heartthrob suffering ED, an STD, or even worse. Brian Nash is a tennis-obsessed college senior who’s unlucky in love and the roommate and best friend of Jillian’s son, Rob. When Rob brings Brian home for Spring Break, and Brian meets the surprisingly young and tennis passionate Jillian, their shared interest quickly develops into an intense mutual attraction. After nearly giving in to their feelings, they hatch a plan, while under the influence (of something more than just the perfect Miami night), to be Friends With Partial Benefits, complete with rules to define the boundaries. Will the lonely pair continue with this distinctive relationship, actually explore their desires, or discover all of it is a really bad idea?

Totally unsurprising spoiler: Yes, she’s 40, but he turns out to be 27.

I read a Danielle Steele novel, once. I think it was her, it might have been Jackie Collins. Whatever the awfulness was, I remember the “novel” as essentially a plot summary with clothing descriptions. Friends with Partial Benefits wasn’t that bad or as much of an offense to the stringing of words together, but it was simply some banter with a suggestion of naughtiness and glimpses of coitus. There was a framework of plot, rather than an actual narrative, and gestures of winking mischievousness in the characters’ exploits: Jillian and Brian find each other hot and desperately fight their attraction for a week or so. Jillian’s widowed friend is sex-crazed and boffing her way through the neighbourhood. There are sundry hijinks involving Jillian’s son and a young woman from college who both said son and Brian, our hero, are interested in. Co-eds claim to be both more and less experienced than they are and there are some questionable slut-shamey attitudes towards this. There’s mention of buttstuff that’s meant, I believe, to upgrade the playful wickedness angle, but Friends with Partial Benefits never committed fully to being either an erotic romp or a romance and therefore fell flat, a softcore pornographic movie in novel form.

Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

Not You It’s Me by Julie Johnson

Not You It’s Me started well with a playful tone, but Julie Johnson’s contemporary romance quickly descended into over-the-top plotting that gives Queen of Histrionica (and admitted personal guilty pleasure) Jennifer Ashley a run for her money.

Gemma Summers is in a boring relationship that she hopes to spice up with free courtside basketball tickets, but things go awry when she and jerkface land on the kisscam and he ignores her. Embarrassed, Gemma finds herself swept into a massive clinch by the gentleman sitting next to her. He’s ever so dreamy and just happens to be a reclusive billionaire recently returned from 5 years in self-exile. He’s warm for Gemma’s form, but tells her he doesn’t date. Charming, right? Great start and an excellent execution of a romance trope that should proceed apace. Groundwork laid, the plot makes a sharp left and careens towards crazy town. Gemma and Chase are talked about in the media, Gemma’s awful boyfriend becomes a meme, and faster than you can say, “too many plot elements”, or “the tone does not match the events contained herein”, EVERYTHING spirals out of control and Gemma’s life is subsumed by Chase’s business and family issues. There are:

  1. a mentally unstable cousin (and secret brother!) who resents Chase’s success and has violent, manipulative tendencies, such as murdering Chase’s favourite horse as a child and
  2. hiring a woman to “fall in love” with Chase during college so that the cousin can spy on Chase before she breaks his heart on command, but
  3. she remains obsessed with Chase and makes threatening phone calls to Gemma at the first hint of relationship and
  4. works with Gemma’s gormless ex-boyfriend who has transformed from a run-of-the-mill cheater into an enraged threat to her life who destroys Gemma’s apartment so that
  5. she has to move into Chase’s penthouse for her own protection and bring what can be salvaged from her apartment, although it’s him who makes this determination for her by hiring strangers to sort through her things and trash whatever is ruined.

Things ESCALATE from there, but you get the idea, and it all takes place over a matter of days and before Gemma and Chase have established a relationship beyond each thinking the other is fun to kiss. Gemma takes it all ludicrously in stride. What started as a charming meet cute, and despite a light touch in the writing, turns into two people fighting for their lives together, even though Gemma is the only one of the two main characters acting in a rational fashion. Chase is right, he is in no position to date – hence the title – and she should RUN AS FAR AND AS FAST AS SHE CAN preferably with government protection.

Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

The Wild Seasons Series: Sweet Filthy Boy, Dirty Rowdy Thing, and Dark Wild Night by Christina Lauren

With the Wild Seasons series, the writing team known as Christina Lauren is hitting its stride. Stronger than the Beautiful series, each of these books features one of three childhood friends who have just finished university and are figuring out where their lives will go next. When a weekend in Vegas turns into three impulsive marriages, Mia, Harlow, and Lola react differently by staying married, getting it on then getting it annulled, and getting started on the annulment immediately. Lauren’s fun female friendships are included here, as well as the delicious men they write so well. As erotic romance, the Wild Series does not shy away from sex, but they strike a good balance with the sincere emotion necessary to make the stories work. As with the Beautiful Series, each couple has bedroom predilections that feature heavily in their sex life.

Sweet Filthy Boy (Ansel/Mia)

Mia spots Ansel across a crowded room and is instantly smitten, as is he. She had been on track for a dancing career before a terrible car accident, and having graduated with her Bachelors’ degree is staring down an MBA program she doesn’t want to attend, but has been cowed into by her domineering father. Her last hurrah weekend turns into a summer in Paris when she marries Ansel on impulse when their friends marry each other as well. “Half Adonis, half puppy,” and French, Ansel is absolutely adorable. Fun and impulsive, he encourages Mia to be with him for the summer; in fact, she made him promise not to get an annulment when they got married which he remembers, but she does not. A sensible woman, if a little lost, Mia rejects the suggestion of a summer in Paris before coming to her senses and showing up at the airport before the flight. They have a wonderful time, even if he is working constantly, until Ansel makes a big mess of things. Luckily, stupidity can be fixed with apologies and lessons learned, so these two crazy kids work things out.

Ansel was my favourite of the heroes, but this was not the best book in the series. Mia and Ansel’s courtship includes evenings of roleplay, but, while fun, they could have used more regular relationship building time. Sweet Filthy Boy is still very much a recommended read, as is the whole series, including my anticipated purchases of the entries that haven’t been published yet.

Dirty Rowdy Thing (Finn/Harlow)

This book as B and some light D, but neither S, nor M. Frankly, I found the love scenes boring. I get it. There was rope.  They both like it. Moving on.

Finn and Harlow married impulsively just like their friends, but after enjoying their wedding night, they sensibly divorced. There followed one more weekend together on Vancouver Island (when Finn resides) before Finn makes a trip to San Diego (Harlow’s stomping grounds) for business purposes. They reconnect at a party and find that they really enjoy each other. As with their friends Mia and Ansel (who pop up on the regular), they each have some information that should have been shared sooner rather than later and this causes the schism that leads to their inevitable reconciliation.

Dirty Rowdy Thing features great banter and Harlow is a take-no-prisoners pip.

Dark Wild Night (Oliver/Lola)

I’d say that Lola and Oliver are they sensible ones of the group of friends, but everyone is pretty grounded. Let’s say they are the quiet ones, stalwart and self-contained with a private wild edge. Oliver is Australian, Lola American, but, unlike their counterparts, they live in the same city.

Oliver is the protector type  – gentleman on the streets, wild man between the sheets – as well as the quintessential sexy nerd. He’s tall, he’s handsome and fit, he has floppy hair, he wears glasses, and he has just opened a comic book store. That sound you just heard is the sigh of a thousand fangirls finding their perfect romance hero. Sorry ladies, he’s taken. Oliver may have married Lola on a dare, but he started to fall for her immediately thereafter, so when Dark Wild Night opens, he is an absolute goner. She is oblivious to his affections, but not immune to his charms. Lola is very caught up in having her first graphic novel not only being published, but optioned for a movie as well. She’s flustered and overwhelmed and, in the way that life has of throwing everything at one all at once, this is when she decides to act on her Oliver crush. Things move fast and she gets overwhelmed, leading to a very awkward situation. Breaking up with your best friend and within a tight-knit circle of friends is the opposite of fun. Don’t worry, sweet, steady, surprisingly-loud-in-the-sack Oliver will help her figure things out as she finds the balance she needs.

I have pre-ordered the next Wild Seasons book Wicked Sexy Liar.

Sidebar: What is with all the slapping, bruising, and biting during coitus in these books? Do the authors realise how HARD one has to hit, squeeze, or bite to leave marks hours later? Ouch. Also, why does everyone have to SCREAM in ecstasy and do so loudly enough they can be heard from a great distance? What is up with that? We GET it. They are having sex, really hot, intense, mind-blowing sex. Pipe down.

Reviews of Christina Lauren’s Beautiful Series can be found here and here. A complete list of Christina Lauren’s catalogue can be found here.

Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

Insatiable I and II by J.D. Hawkins

Ladies and gentlemen, I have read about 400 romance novels and seen a lot of tropes, but Insatiable has done it. The hero of this book achieves CLICHE APOTHEOSIS. He is arrogance in human form, a vain, cocksure stereotype.

Insatiable II: Insatiabler was the obvious title for the second book in this duet and a missed opportunity on Amazon’s part, but I’ll still let them set the tone:

Lust-maker. Pleasure giver. Fantasy creator. I can blow your mind in five seconds flat — but trust me, you’ll want this to last all night.

There’s not a woman in the city who can resist me. Except one.

Now she’s got a proposition: Seven days. Every position. No strings attached.

She wants to know what she’s been missing.

Who am I to say no?

Hero Person lives in the most superificial city on earth, Los Angeles, and somehow raises the narcissism bar. Slutboy is perfect looking and clueless, a parody of a confident, successful man. He sends the heroine a picture of his abs while he works out. Faithless Jaden talks about women the way we worry men talk about us by reducing us to our body parts and manifest bangability. His best friend is a dudebro. They surf and choose which chicks on the beach they’re gonna bang. They do the same in bars, but only with the world’s choicest pieces of ass. All of the women stop whatever they are doing whenever Machismo Moron walks into a room, as well as a certain percentage of the men, one assumes. King Stud is the one every man wants to be and every woman wants to be with. Just ask him, he’ll tell you, and if you’re lucky, he’ll magnanimously choose to sleep with you. Tool Time is rich and glamourous, a celebrated architect who built his life up from nothing according to the three seconds of half-assed sympathetic backstory he shares.

Manwhore stops in his tracks when he sees Lizzie, but she’s not single. Don’t worry, the second she is, they get it on. He was about to share his Little Manwhore with another woman, but he casts that loser aside. Lizzie and Cologne Ad start to get busy on their host’s bed at a party because that is how classy grown-ass humans conduct themselves. Vainglorious Asshat is mesmerized by Lizzie and the way she can use him and leave. But wait. She wants something more and he’s fascinated, so the Reformation of a Rake and a Marriage of Convenience turns into the Pig Becomes a Person and Fuck Lessons. She can’t believe her luck. Preenboy is so amazing and he’s chosen her! He’s universally attractive, movie star handsome, and ripped. He even drives a Ferrari. (Red? “Do I look like an amateur?”)

Lizzie has just gotten out of a long-term relationship and wants to learn to be the world’s best lay so she can hold on to the next one. Not that the last one was worth keeping, but the story needed a dated, sexist cliche to latch onto to justify the temporary relationship. Douchecanoe is just the one to teach her the superficial skills she needs to please a man. When Lizzie meets a new guy, of course, he turns out to be all that is boring, traditional, and repressed. Because in all the world, there are only two men: the kind of guy who tosses your salad in a utility closet at a friend’s wedding to show up your ex and his new girlfriend (actual scene) and the beige guy in chinos. But wait. Lizzie’s magical ladyland becomes all Funky Jockstrap can think about. They’ve been together for three days of coitus, he’s managed to sabotage her new relationship, and now he wants a commitment. Can Lizzie trust Lounge Lizard? Can Boastful Beefcake be what she needs?

This story has been done well before. Many times. What those books have and these books lack is a sincere emotional connection for the leads to build on and, no, having relations slowly while  looking each other in the eye doesn’t count.

Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

Bait by M. Mabie

I HATED THIS BOOK AND ITS SO-CALLED CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE AND THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE AWFUL, SELFISH PEOPLE AND I HATE THEM.

A man and woman meet when she is on the verge of getting engaged to her long-term, perfectly nice, boyfriend. Man and woman spark and decide to hook up. They go on with their lives and strike up an increasingly inappropriate, emotional infidelity based, long-distance quote friendship unquote. When they are in the same city they boff, then she goes back to her decent. loyal boyfriend. Then she gets engaged to said boyfriend, so she and the man have one last goodbye boff. Then the woman MARRIES her boyfriend, even after the man shows up on her wedding day begging her not to.  SHE STAYS MARRIED. Man and woman keep their distance until man’s mum dies and woman comes to secretly stay with and comfort him while still MARRIED to SOMEONE ELSE.

I stopped reading Bait about 80% of the way through and discovered that this bullshit continues for two more books – which I did not read – and, from what I previewed, the woman’s nice husband turns into a horrible person as well, I suspect as some sort of device meant to make it not so bad that the man and woman have behaved abominably and it FAILS MISERABLY. Theirs is not some tragic love, their bond defying convention and time. They are vile people indulging themselves at the expense of their ethical obligations as grown ups. Man comes off slightly better than woman, but not by much. Neither one is actually making a sincere effort to live honourably. Breaking up with your nice boyfriend is hard, but not complicated. Marrying him because it is sensible and practical is selfish and mean.

The only bright spot in this book was discovering that there is a cheesecake store in Seattle called “The Confectional” which may be the best bakery name I have ever heard other than the one I have called dibs on for myself: The Butter Tart.

Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

Ten Great Romance Novellas to Get You Started

HISTORICAL Romance

  1. Ashley, Jennifer Scandal and the Duchess  – enjoyable
  2. Dare, Tessa The Scandalous, Dissolute, No-Good Mr. Wright  – fantastic
  3. Dare, Tessa Beauty and the Blacksmith – fun, bring your willing suspension of disbelief
  4. Duran, Meredith Your Wicked Heart  – such fun
  5. Grant, Cecilia A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong – very good
  6. Hoyt, Elizabeth The Ice Princess – nice version of a common trope
  7. Milan, Courtney A Kiss for Midwinter CLASSIC as a novella and of the genre

CONTEMPORARY Romance

  1. Bowen, Sarina Blonde Date CLASSIC new adult, a perfect novella
  2. Richland, Anna His Road Home – contemporary, wounded soldier coming home

PARANORMAL Romance  – Not my cup of tea, but it could help you determine if it is yours.

  1. Cole, Kresley The Warlord Wants Foreverplenty of THUNDER SEX™!

I also have a ruthlessly streamlined recommendations list: So You Want to Read a (Historical) Romance.

Links to my reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

Tigers and Devils by Sean Kennedy

This is my first Australian romance, plus it’s about two men, neither of them are confused about their sexual preference, and it was written by a man. Huzzah!

From Amazon: The most important things in Simon Murray’s life are football, friends, and film—in that order. His friends despair of him ever meeting someone, but despite his loneliness, Simon is cautious about looking for more. Then his best friends drag him to a party, where he barges into a football conversation and ends up defending the honour of star forward Declan Tyler—unaware that the athlete is present. In that first awkward meeting, neither man has any idea they will change each other’s lives forever… But as Simon and Declan fumble toward a relationship, keeping Declan’s homosexuality a secret from well-meaning friends and an increasingly suspicious media becomes difficult. Nothing can stay hidden forever. Soon Declan will have to choose between the career he loves and the man he wants, and Simon has never been known to make things easy—for himself or for others.

Wry and self-deprecating, Simon narrates the story and is a funny and engaging hero. Tigers and Devils is more of a (very enjoyable) love story than a romance novel. Let me see if I can explain what I mean by that. I make no promises.

  1. Simon and Declan fall hard and fast.
  2. Their relationship is largely long distance in the early days. Declan plays for a football (Australian, obviously) team in Tasmania and Simon works in Melbourne.
  3. The reader is told a lot of the early relationship, but the swoony part is largely passed over.
  4. The bulk of the story focuses on the issues they face as a couple as opposed to anything that slows them down from becoming a couple.

Tigers and Devils’ supporting characters were well fleshed out and Simon and Declan felt like real people. Sean Kennedy is a really good and diverting writer, but I could have done with a little more romance. I started it with a sample, then I bought the book, but felt no need to continue on to the following two novels. Tigers and Devils succeeded as a novel about two people falling in love, but I was looking for more of a classic genre romance.

LGBT romance recommendations can be found here.

Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.