Category Archives: book review

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover by Sarah MacLean

Girl meets boy. Girl asks boy to ruin her. Boy refuses. Boy gives in.

I’ve read about 140 romance novels in the past year, and attempted another two or three dozen. I feel depressingly confident in saying that I’ve read all the good ones. At least, all the good ones that I can get my hands on, as I am unwilling to pay $7.99 each to purchase an author’s out of print backlog as it spills into Amazon’s Kindle stock.  This means I do a lot of three things:

  1. Wait for the good authors to release new books.
  2. Take a chance on new authors on Amazon.
  3. Try random library books with titles like:                                                                                 If You Give a Girl a Viscount                                                                                                Sex and the Single Earl                                                                                                  Cloudy with a Chance of Marriage

Between the awful titles and covers, the publishers really do manage to convey what they think of their extremely profitable readership. This book has an awful title, too. I don’t blame the author. I’m sure she would have preferred something less excruciating.

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover is the second book in Sarah MacLean’s Regency Rule of Scoundrels series. Each book features one of four displaced lords who run a notorious, and therefore extremely fashionable and popular, gaming club called The Fallen Angel. The first book, A Rogue By Any Other Name, introduced the gentlemen, and told Bourne and Penelope’s story. That book was good, but the hero suffered from a prolonged case of Head Up Posterior. This book is much better, lovely in fact. It picks up exactly where the Epilogue of the last book left off. I love it when they do that!

Pippa Marbury is getting married in two weeks. She is a woman of insatiable intellectual curiosity and as such is extremely inquisitive about what to expect on her wedding night. Instead of doing the logical thing and throwing herself at her very nice, very boring fiance, she approaches a notorious rake to provide the “ruination” she seeks; however, Cross is not actually the roue he appears to be, so he naturally/correctly/wisely refuses Pippa’s request, but he doesn’t really want to. Hijinks ensue.

Cross (Jasper, Earl Something) is likeable, fiercely intelligent, and kind, a quietly tortured hero. He’s also a redhead which is extraordinarily unusual for heroes in the genre; what’s more, he’s tall and he gangles (H/T Douglas Adams). The men in these books are never short, but at 6’6″ Cross, dwarves Pippa. I’ve complained about the practicalities of height differences before. These are details that occur to me while reading romance novels and break my otherwise extraordinarily willing suspension of disbelief. What does absurdly tall Cross do when he wants to kiss Pippa? He picks her up, they both sit down, he kneels in front of her. Not in swooping romantic gestures, but simply as a practicality. It’s small details like this that make Sarah MacLean the writer she is and put her on my autobuy list. I’m so grateful for the effort to keep things logical.

Pippa is bespectacled and bookish. She’s odd. An intellectual at a time when such efforts would have been barred to her, she’s also rich and has disinterested parents, and thus free to follow her scientific interests. I don’t normally latch on to the heroines as much as the heroes, but I loved Pippa and related to her strongly.  Her insistent uniqueness was really endearing. Pippa knows she’s unusual, she always has been, and while she doesn’t necessarily like it, she embraces it as who she is. In my family, speaking in a clever and complicated way is seen as a game. As a result, I tend to sound like a Gilmore Girl by way of Katharine Hepburn. It’s not a good thing. It’s a thing I was mocked for as a child and a thing that I still constantly try to temper in my everyday life: Don’t be too clever, don’t use words people might not know, don’t be too enthusiastic, don’t talk too quickly, don’t use references. I loved Pippa for being herself in a way I don’t often feel I’m allowed to be. Defiantly so. Defiantly curious, defiantly intellectual, defiantly demanding what she wants and needs, and being rewarded for it with a lovely man who genuinely understands, cares for, and delights in her.

And now I can go read Malin’s review of this book and see if we agree. We usually do.

Penelope by Anya Wylde

An open letter to Anya Wylde author of Penelope (A Madcap Regency Romance)

Dear Ms. Wylde:

Sincere congratulations on completing and publishing your second novel. It is indeed a great achievement and one which I certainly cannot claim; however, I have read very, very many historical romances, so if it is true that novels are never finished only abandoned, I have some notes for you. If you have moved on, they might help with your next effort.

1. The writing itself is perfectly serviceable. The plotting, characters, tone, and editing are problematic.

2. The bit with “Are you thinking about your grandmother?” was very clever.

3. The heroine, Penelope, arrives at Duke’s London residence with a PET GOAT. She may be a bumpkin with no filter, but this is patently ridiculous.  It is neither endearing, nor whimsical. It is malodorous and incontinent. Why not a puppy? It could grow up, calm down, and, this is the important part, be house-trained.

4. The reader is given two random and extremely brief scenes of Penelope’s dead mother in heaven looking down on her between rounds of tossing her halo for wolfhounds to fetch. Sure. Why? Give a dog to Penelope and kill the dead mother (and the damn goat).

5. Your hero, Charles, is an awful person and does not become any more tactful, likeable, or sympathetic as the story progresses. He finds Penelope gauche, embarrassing, and appalling. He tells her so regularly with spectacular insensitivity. He’s even rude to her in the Epilogue and refers to their children as “brats”.

6. Know your genre tropes: If the hero and heroine are opposites and set against each other, they must also have an intense sexual attraction underlying their interactions as they find common ground. Charles should find Penelope’s lack of pretension refreshing and charming, even if he doesn’t want to. Tell the reader what he is thinking. Penelope is flighty and blithers endlessly. He could help her feel comfortable and relax. She could help him remove the stick from his bottom.

7. Penelope and the duke’s sister act like 15 year olds. Why on earth would anyone be attracted to them, unless he/she too was a silly teenager? It makes the romantic relationship, such as it is, jarring and incomprehensible. Penelope may be sweet and well-intentioned, but she’s childlike.

8. Calling the story “madcap” does not excuse these elements:

  • The openly gay, openly transvestite modiste who teaches Penelope to be a “proper woman”, AND who is a peer AND a spy because of a late and inexplicable espionage subplot.
  • All the men have to wear a moustache to dinner to appease an elderly grandfather. This is silly, but it’s also a squandered opportunity. At some point, Penelope should either wear a moustache to dinner as a joke, or rip off the Duke’s in a fit of pique.
  • The lovelorn highwayman Penelope prattles into submission before the story even begins. Why did you not start with this episode?
  • The return of the lovelorn highwayman in some bizarre plotting which includes the Duke in costume declaring his love for Penelope despite the fact that he clearly can’t stand her.

9. I’m 99.96437% sure that no one in The Regency used the word diddlysquat.

Thank you for your time.

Yours truly,
Prolixity Julien

DIBS! My Romance Novel Title

Malin

Earls Just Wanna Have Fun

Prolixity

  1. Daisy’s Duke
  2. Earl of My Dreams
  3. Put Up Your Dukes
  4. Velvet Is for Viscounts

When scarf shopping, there is a very fine line between paisley and paramecia.

Paisley Paramecia 2

Things That Occur to Me While Reading Historical Romance Novels

  • They’re cold? What about the poor coachman on top of the carriage?
  • Nervous heroes always rub the back of their neck. Nervous heroines always bite their lips.
  • I wish I could do that sardonic raised eyebrow thing. People in these books always can.
  • Should I be hearing this with an English accent?
  • How do they kiss with that height difference?
  • Aren’t they freezing?
  • Just how big is this bed?
  • Yes, I’m sure the servants just love them.
  • That’s a lot of tongue.
  • There are more soldiers in Regency romances with PTSD than served in the Napoleonic Wars.
  • Does that bonnet come with a shepherd’s crook?
  • It doesn’t come with any peripheral vision, that’s certain.
  • It only takes a couple of pins to hold up waist length hair?
  • That’s not really feasible in the bathtub you just described.
  • Oh! Gloves. They’re probably wearing gloves. Mental note: Gloves.
  • That’s not how prostitution works.
  • He/she has been unconscious for days. I wouldn’t kiss someone with that breath.
  • Wouldn’t her hair be stuck to them with sweat? Doesn’t her hair get caught underneath them?
  • Didn’t you have to provide your own sheets in hotels back then?
  • Historically speaking, shouldn’t this guy have some truly ridiculous facial hair?
  • This castle should have a lot more minions.
  • She certainly got over her shyness quickly.
  • Aren’t nineteenth century settees too narrow for that sort of thing?
  • “Prinny”? I’m out.
  • You do not get to use “Lud” and “demme” AND “co*k” and “@ss”. Pick a lane.
  • You cannot make a gown by hand in 6 hours.
  • Shouldn’t she be wearing a corset?
  • That wouldn’t rip so easily.
  • The shift would rip. I’ll give you that.
  • He’s sardonic and just called her “Sweetheart”? I am so in.
  • Their hips brushed while dancing? You just said he’s a foot taller than her!
  • Could she sit in his lap while wearing a bustle?
  • I do so love a marriage of convenience plot.
  • Seriously? He just licked the roof of her mouth?
  • This whole House of Lords thing is quite a racket.
  • What is with the dress on the cover?
  • Unclean, UNCLEAN! (Specific to anything set before 1800)
  • Why do all romance novel children, no matter their age, act 5?
  • Shouldn’t they have more luggage?
  • And a second conveyance for luggage and servants?
  • Yes, I’m sure all of the “house wenches” are happy and safe.
  • I didn’t realise PTSD could be so selective in its outbursts.
  • That is not a pet that can be house-trained.
  • Her corset would slice her in half, if she bent over like that.
  • Bait and switch infertility, a romance author’s best friend.
  • Someone would have walked in on them.
  • Of course, the hero/heroine is the ONLY ONE with the necessary medical knowledge.
  • Another audition for a practically perfect prospective step-parent passed.

I also have a list of things that occur to me while reading contemporary romance novels.

My reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

The Revenge of Lord Eberlin by Julia London

Almost completely joyless. This will be my only Julia London book.

I selected this novel randomly from the romance spinner at the library, read a few pages, shrugged, and decided to give it a go. The Revenge of Lord Eberlin feels like a romance novel from the early days,  i.e. the 1970s/1980s. For the uninitiated, that means that the hero is a gorgeous, but cynical, brooding bastard who treats the heroine abominably, and the heroine is nonetheless magnetically attracted to him. His sole redeeming trait for most of the book is that he is nice to children. His only sympathetic quality, I think that was the author’s intent, is that he has panic attacks and since it is 1808 he has no idea what is going on and they terrify him. Julia London is a decent writer, sentences like “her heart was beating like the wings of a thousand birds” not withstanding, but this book was not engaging and, frankly, I’ve seen the revenge plot (the clue is in the title) done better by Julie Anne Long and Courtney Milan.

When Lord Eberlin, once Tobin Scott, was 13, his carpenter father was hanged for stealing jewels from the Ashwood estate. Central to the case was the testimony of Lord and Lady Ashwood’s adopted eight year old daughter, Lily Boudine. She saw Mr. Scott senior riding away from the manor on the night of the theft. Scott’s family was destroyed by the scandal: his mother and brother died in penury, and Tobin helped place his sister in service before he went to work on merchant ships. Fifteen years later, having purchased a title and clawed his way to wealth as an arms dealer (how revolting), Lord Eberlin has come back to destroy the Ashwood family, its finances, the estate, and anything else that isn’t nailed down. He’s really very grumpy. He has a charming friend named Mackenzie who might actually make for a fun book, but his appearance was disappointingly brief.

Lily and Tobin played together as children; more accurately, Lady Ashwood and Mr. Scott senior asked Tobin to occupy Lily while “work” was being done at the manor. Now Lady Ashwood in her own right, Lily is a smart, patient, and preternaturally mature and understanding young woman. She also has a young ward who appears now and then to be winsome and prove hero isn’t a complete ass. Tobin wants revenge, but he is drawn to Lily. She wants to protect her land and dependents, but is drawn to the foxy  rude man who turns her crank even as he takes her livelihood.

The proposal was charming, but this book was no fun; more importantly it was essentially humourless.  The tone was so serious that I started to wonder if the problem was me. Was I in a bad mood? Was I misreading the tone? Was I projecting emotions onto the story? Mostly, it was disappointment. I need to find a new romance writer’s catalogue to march through and with every new book I’m hoping I’ve found her. London used the word “visceral” on page three, so I had high hopes, but it was not to be.

The (Shameful) Tally 2013 – Ongoing

Things That Occur to Me While Reading Historical Romance Novels – Ongoing

To Love a Thief by Darcy Burke

Meh, but more on that later.

There are a lot of large men in period romance novels: tall, dark, and handsome, with historically-inaccurate muscle definition. Excellent traits all.  I’m a woman of average height and I’ve never dated anyone tall, although it has a definite appeal. Feeling petite is one of those things I just know I would delight in. The heroine of To Love a Thief, Jocelyn, is a tiny little thing who just manages comes up to the middle of the hero’s chest, so about like this –

heights 2

which is totally fine, but I always wonder about the upright kissing. Romance authors like to say that the characters “fit perfectly”, or are “pressed along each others length”, but what are the practical considerations of this height differential? My former boss was about 6’4″, and when I hugged him goodbye, I stood on tiptoe and barely cleared his shoulder; moreover, the heroine is always putting her arms around the hero’s neck. Is that even possible from a standing start? He would have to bend over and therefore away from her to reach, right? I want to read a romance with a running joke that the hero is always making sure the heroine is on a step, or he sits down on the edge of a piece of furniture, or simply lifts her straight up (swoon) to deal with the issue. And don’t even get me started on the impossibility of certain positions with such a pronounced height difference.  He’d throw his back out. It’s contrary to the laws of physics, no matter how historically-inaccurate his muscles are. No one could vigorously squat or, conversely, stand on tiptoe for that long. This is what gnaws at me while I read these books. Well, this and “aren’t they freezing?”; “just how big is this bed?”; and “that’s not really feasible with the bathtub you just described”.

In To Love a Thief, Jocelyn Renwick is on the shelf, but still in circulation. Her only season was cut short by a series of unfortunate events, including a traumatic burglary and her father’s death. Two years later, she has returned to society as a lady’s paid companion. During her absence Daniel Carlyle, a former constable, inherited a title and has devoted himself to learning his new duties and to navigate the world he has joined, aided by his close friends Lord and Lady Aldridge. When first they meet, Daniel is captivated, but Jocelyn is distracted by Lady Aldridge’s necklace. It is identical, down to a surface scratch, to one that was stolen from her home.

Jocelyn sets out to retrieve/steal her family heirlooms from the Aldridges and Daniel catches her in the act. They work at odds, and then together, to solve the really quite obvious mystery of Lord Aldridge’s nefarious activities. There is some traipsing through London’s underworld, villainous mustache twirling, and a beleaguered household staff that keeps getting tied up. None of it is very exciting or fresh, and I admit to having perused certain portions rather quickly.

I don’t know if Darcy Burke is a new author, but the writing feels like she is. There were occasional flashes of potential, but overall it was pretty flat. The main problem was that the reader is told Daniel and Jocelyn have fallen in love rather than being shown. For obvious reasons, the ability to convey attraction and emotion is essential to success in this genre.

To Love a Thief was free for Kindle on Amazon; I downloaded it as one of several such items. It’s a clever marketing ploy, if it gets you to buy more of the writer’s work. It won’t, but I can’t blame Burke, or her publisher, for trying.

Julie Anne Long also has a historical romance called To Love a Thief and it is delightful.

This Wicked Gift by Courtney Milan

I’ve written about the two men and seven plots that occupy all romance novels, but I’ve given short shrift to the women, so this is what I’ve learned since my first romance novel review 136 books ago: She’s still either a Wallflower or a Victim of Circumstance. The Wallflower is a lovely, pert, overlooked woman who needs to get her light out from under that bushel. The Victim of Circumstance is someone who, usually due to exigencies beyond her control, has dim prospects and has to make her own luck. Both women are bright and self-sufficient, and, contrary to what I suspect many people think about romance novels (when they think about them at all), they are not being “rescued” by the hero. They either rescue him, or they find their way together.

When people are kind enough to ask me to recommend a romance writer to them, I always suggest Courtney Milan unreservedly. Correction: One reservedly, Trial by Desire, her second book. With the novella This Wicked Gift, I have read her entire output and thus have to writhe in anticipation of her next publication; fortunately, this one did not disappoint. It broke my heart and then put a smiley-face band aid around it.

A Christmas story, This Wicked Gift, is part of Milan’s first trio of published works, which also includes Proof by Seduction and Trial by Desire. William Q. White, a clerk scraping by after being perfunctorily disinherited, is in love with Lavinia Spencer. Astute, determined, and vivacious, she runs the local lending library to which he has a subscription, and she thrills to his presence as well. William takes advantage of an opportunity to be of service to Lavinia, and then takes advantage of her indebtedness to him, or so he thinks.

Milan never shies away from the grinding poverty of 19th century England and this book dwells not with the lords and ladies of so many romance novels, but with honest people trying to eke out a living in an often harsh and loveless world. To weave the fight against one’s own penury, place in the world, and the striving for some semblance of a comfortable life into a genre story based around romantic love is quite an accomplishment. It is indeed romantic and it feels realistic.

The last Milan novella I read, A Kiss for Midwinter, contained a heart-stoppingly romantic moment. This book contained a sentence that broke my heart into a thousand pieces, “You would need never feel cold again.” It wasn’t a romantic line, it was meant literally: You will have the financial wherewithal to purchase warm clothing and fuel to heat your home. Imagine a life where being warm seems like an unattainable luxury. Being cold is something I despise and resent. Whenever I read a book with characters living in poverty, being cold always occurs to me. I won’t even read the Highland Laird romance genre because I am always thinking, “God, it must be so damp. It would just crawl through your clothing and envelop you for nine months of the year. I don’t care how good a kisser he is, he’s not worth it.”

Links to my other reviews can be found on The (Shameful) Tally 2014 or my list of books by author.

Also from Courtney Milan

The Carhart Series
This Wicked Gift – please see above
Proof by Seduction
Trial by Desire – one of only two Milan books I don’t recommend

The Turner Brothers Series
Unveiled
Unclaimed
Unraveled – personal favourite
Unlocked

The Brothers Sinister Series
The Governess Affair – very good novella
The Duchess War – great
A Kiss for Midwinter – CLASSIC
The Heiress Effect – the secondary plot was lovely
The Countess Conspiracy – superlative
The Suffragette Scandal – CLASSIC, MASTERWORK
Talk Sweetly to Me (novella) – August 19, 2014 (bouncing with excitement)

Independent Novellas
The Lady Always Wins
What Happened at Midnight

Summer by Edith Wharton

WhartonI am very suggestible: Last year, Miss Kate’s review of Edith Wharton’s Summer was posted on Pajiba and, after reading it, I instantly downloaded and printed the book from the Gutenberg free book site. Bringing myself to read it took a while. In 1989, I read Wharton’s Ethan Frome and it’s a book I have a clear memory of reading: I was sitting on a blanket in my parents’ back yard in June. Wharton wrote so evocatively, that the reading experience became confused with the emotional and literal winter she describes so compellingly, and was quite thoroughly depressing. It’s taken me 23 years to summon the courage to read another of her books.

In Summer, Charity Royall lives in a remote New England town and runs the small local library. She is the ward of Mr. Royall, a widower who has decided that he should like to marry Charity now that she is 18. At the same time, Lucius Harney comes to town trailing cosmopolitan sophistication and visions of the outside world. Lucius is an architect surveying local properties of interest. Charity is smitten and begins a relationship with him and then, of course, it all goes quietly and profoundly wrong.

Wharton masterfully portrays Charity’s complicated emotions and seems to specialize in self-contained characters who can’t get out of their own way; trapped by their own intentions, prejudices, and self-imposed limitations, they lead lives of quiet desperation. It’s heartbreaking, and horrible, and resolves itself in small kindnesses which will not provide any long-term relief to the pain of their shuttered existences.

The (Shameful) Tally 2013

February 2015: Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful which includes all of the books I have read to date.

 

Recommended books are in bold, but here is a streamlined recommendations list:                         So You Want to Read a Historical Romance… and these are
Things That Occur to Me While Reading Historical Romance Novels

Shamefree

  1. 100 Dresses from The Costume Institute The Metropolitan Museum of Art
  2. Summer – Edith Wharton
  3. Victorian Fashions and Costumes from Harper’s Bazar 1867-1898 edited by Stella Blum
  4. Victorian and Edwardian Fashions from “La Mode Illustree” edited by JoAnne Ollan
  5. Victorian Fashions: A Pictorial Archive selected and arranged by Carol Belanger Grafton
  6. Fashion: The Definitive History of Costume and Style DK Smithsonian
  7. Savage Beauty: Alexander McQueen – edited by Andrew Bolton
  8. Dangerous Books For Girls: The Bad Reputation Of Romance Novels Explained – Maya Rodale (review coming in 2014)

Shameful

  1. Love with the Proper Husband – Victoria Alexander (Marcus/Gwen)
  2. Lady Amelia’s Secret Lover – Victoria Alexander novella (Robert/Amelia)
  3. The Prince’s Bride – Victoria Alexander (Rand/Jocelyn)
  4. Bodyguard (Shifters Unbound) – Jennifer Ashley novella (Ronan/Elizabeth)
  5. The Untamed Mackenzie – Jennifer Ashley novella (Lloyd/Louisa)
  6. The Wicked Deeds of Daniel Mackenzie – Jennifer Ashley (Daniel/Violet)
  7. A Handful of Gold – Mary Balogh (Julian/Verity)
  8. Once a Duchess – Elizabeth Boyce (Marshall/Isabelle)
  9. Along Came a Duke – Elizabeth Boyle (Preston/Tabitha)
  10. And the Miss Ran Away with the Rake – Elizabeth Boyle (Henry/Daphne)
  11. When She Said I Do – Celeste Bradley (Lawrence, called Ren/Calliope)
  12. The Other Guy’s Bride – Connie Brockway (Jim/Ginesse)
  13. Highland Surrender – Tracy Brogan (Myles/Fiona)
  14. To Love a Thief – Darcy Burke (Daniel/Jocelyn)
  15. Return of the Viscount – Gayle Callen (Michael/Cecilia)
  16. Not My Wolf – Eden Cole novella (Corey/Devin)
  17. The Warlord Wants Forever – Kresley Cole (Nikolai/Myst the Coveted) THUNDER SEX™!
  18. A Hunger Like No Other – Kresley Cole (Lachlain/Emma)
  19. No Rest for the Wicked – Kresley Cole (Sebastian/Kaderin the Coldhearted) THUNDER SEX™!
  20. Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night – Kresley Cole (Bowen/Mariketa the Awaited) THUNDER SEX™!
  21. Dark Deed’s at Night’s Edge – Kresley Cole (Conrad/Neomi) THUNDER SEX™!
  22. Dark Desires After Dusk – Kresley Cole (Cadeon/Holly) – THUNDER SEX™!
  23. Kiss of a Demon King – Kresley Cole (Rydstrom/Sabine) – 80%
  24. Deep Kiss of Winter – Kresley Cole (Murdoch/Daniela the Ice Maiden) THUNDER SEX™!
  25. Lothaire – Kresley Cole (Lothaire/Ellie)
  26. Macrieve – Kresley Cole (Uilliam/Chloe) – 50% VILE
  27. Shadow’s Claim – Kresley Cole (Trehan/Bettina)
  28. Welcome to Temptation – Jennifer Crusie (Phin/Sophie)
  29. Bet Me – Jennifer Crusie (Calvin/Minerva)
  30. Beauty and the Blacksmith – Tessa Dare (Aaron/Diana)
  31. Any Duchess Will Do – Tessa Dare (Griffin/Pauline)
  32. Undone – Lila DiPasqua (Simon/Angelica) *Worst of the Year*
  33. That Scandalous Summer – Meredith Duran (Michael/Elizabeth)
  34. Reforming a Rake – Suzanne Enoch (Lucien/Alexandra)
  35. Meet Me at Midnight – Suzanne Enoch (Sinclair “Sin”/Victoria “Vixen”)
  36. A Matter of Scandal – Suzanne Enoch (Grey/Emma)
  37. The Rake – Suzanne Enoch (Tristan/Georgiana)
  38. England’s Perfect Hero – Suzanne Enoch (Robert/Lucinda)
  39. Rules to Catch a Devilish Duke – Suzanne Enoch (Adam/Sophia)
  40. The Chocolate Thief – Laura Florand (Sylvain/Cade)
  41. The Chocolate Kiss – Laura Florand (Philippe/Magalie)
  42. The Chocolate Rose – Laura Florand (Gabriel/Jolie)
  43. The Chocolate Touch – Laura Florand (Dominique/Jaime)
  44. The Scottish Prisoner – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie, but no Claire)
  45. When You Give a Duke a Diamond – Shana Galen (Will/Juliette)
  46. The Lion’s Lady – Julie Garwood (Lyon/Christina)
  47. A Woman Entangled – Cecilia Grant (Nick/Kate)
  48. More Than Friends – Aria Grace (Ryan/Zach)
  49. A Duke of Her Own – Lorraine Heath (“Hawk”, Duke of Hawkhurst/Louisa)
  50. Lord of Wicked Intentions – Lorraine Heath (Rafe/Evelyn)
  51. Sweet Surrender – Cheryl Holt (Jackson/Grace)
  52. The Ice Princess – Elizabeth Hoyt novella (Isaac/Coral)
  53. Scandalous Desires – Elizabeth Hoyt (Michael/Silence)
  54. The Proposition – Judith Ivory (Mick/Winnie)
  55. Winning the Wallflower – Eloisa James novella (Cyrus/Lucy)
  56. With This Kiss – Eloisa James novella (Colin/Grace)
  57. Something About You – Julie James (Jack/Cameron)
  58. About That Night – Julie James (Kyle/Rylann)
  59. Love Irresistibly – Julie James (Cade/Brooke)
  60. Indigo – Beverly Jenkins (Galen/Hester)
  61. Always and Forever – Beverly Jenkins (Jackson/Grace)
  62. Night Hawk – Beverly Jenkins (Ian/Maggie)
  63. Attracting Anthony – Amber Kell (Silver/Anthony)
  64. Miss Whittier Makes a List – Carla Kelly (Daniel/Hannah)
  65. Mrs. Drew Plays Her Hand – Carla Kelly (Fletcher/Roxanna)
  66. Reforming Lord Ragsdale – Carla Kelly (John/Emma)
  67. The Lady’s Companion – Carla Kelly (David/Emma)
  68. Flowers from the Storm – Laura Kinsale (Christian/Maddy)
  69. Lazy Sundays – K-Lee Klein novella (Devon/Scott) <– NOTE AUTHOR’S FIRST NAME
  70. Sugar Daddy – Lisa Kleypas (Gage/Liberty)
  71. Blue-Eyed Devil – Lisa Kleypas (Hardy/Haven)
  72. Smooth Talking Stranger – Lisa Kleypas (Jack/Ella)
  73. Wedded in Scandal – Jade Lee (Robert/Helaine)
  74. The Truth About Love – Caroline Linden short story (Damien/Miranda)
  75. Love and Other Scandals – Caroline Linden (Tristan/Joan)
  76. The Revenge of Lord Eberlin – Julia London (Tobin/Lily)
  77. The Runaway Duke – Julie Anne Long (Connor/Rebecca)
  78. It Happened One Midnight – Julie Anne Long (Jonathon/”Tommy” Thomasina)
  79. Married by Midnight – Julianne MacLean novella (Garrett/Anne)
  80. One Good Earl Deserves a Lover – Sarah MacLean (Cross/Pippa)
  81. No Good Duke Goes Unpunished – Sarah MacLean (Temple/Mara)
  82. An Introduction to Pleasure: Mistress Matchmaker – Jess Michaels (Andrew/Lysandra!)
  83. This Wicked Gift – Courtney Milan (William/Lavinia)
  84. The Heiress Effect – Courtney Milan (Oliver/Jane, bonus Anjan/Emily)
  85. The Countess Conspiracy – Courtney Milan (Sebastian/Violet)
  86. If I Fall – Kate Noble (Jackson/Sarah)
  87. Passion and Pride – Amelia Nolan (Evan/Marian)
  88. A Man Above Reproach – Evelyn Pryce (Elias/Josephine)
  89. How to Marry a Marquis – Julia Quinn (James/Elizabeth)
  90. On the Way to the Wedding – Julia Quinn (Gregory/Lucy)
  91. The Bridgertons: Happily Ever After – Julia Quinn (Everyone, even Violet)
  92. Seducing Miss Dunaway – Kate Rothwell novella (Fell, Lord Fellington/Mary)
  93. The Lady’s Tutor – Robin Schone (Ramiel, The Bastard Sheikh/Elizabeth)
  94. The Luckiest Lady in London – Sherry Thomas (Felix/Louisa)
  95. Penelope – Anya Wylde (Charles/Penelope) *Most Inept of the Year*

MALIN has excellent reviews on her site, and a broader range of books.

Name tally as of December 13, 2013: Simon (7); Michael (7); Sebastian (6); Robert/William (5) Alec/Alex, Colin, Gabriel, Harry, James (4); Benedict, Charles, Edward, Gareth, Henry, Jackson, Julian, Lucien, Marcus, Tristan (3); and only one David.

The Autobuy List
Tessa Dare
Lisa Kleypas (historicals only)
Julie Anne Long
Sarah MacLean
Courtney Milan

The Auto-Library/Cheap on Kindle List
Jennifer Ashley –  I love/hate her. I don’t recommend her.
Mary Balogh – predictable, but safe, well-written
Loretta Chase –  reliable
Suzanne Enoch – B list
Lorraine Heath – B- list, so if there’s absolutely nothing else, maybe
Carla Kelly – sweet Regency romances, large 1990s back catalogue, newer work has Mormon themes
Caroline Linden – off to a good start, great potential, almostalmost an autobuy
Julia Quinn – An excellent place to launch your reading. Start with The Bridgertons

My Favourite Characters

Reject Pile (see also the “Attempted” list from 2012)

Gayle Callen – Too serious for my taste, nicely enough written, reasonably romantic.
Kresley Cole – Failed paranormal romance experiment
Lila DiPasqua – Undone (Fiery Tales) – Some words should NEVER be seen in a romance novel! Ew.
Gaelen Foley – She used the word “orifice” in a love scene.
Shana Galen – Perfectly pleasant, occasionally quite good, but nothing special
Karen Hawkins – Too slow getting going.
Cheryl Holt – Fantastic banter but wildly, distractingly uneven tone, also sexist.
Lorelei James – God, no! Contemporary. Cowboys.
Sophie Jordan – consummation on the floor of a rat infested cellar they were not locked in
Kieran Kramer – Bland. If You Give a Girl a Viscount.
Stephanie Laurens – Read in 2012. 30 page love scenes. Don’t do it.
Jade Lee – Wedded in Scandal Muddled story, uneven tone, vacillating and inconsistent leads.
Julianne MacLean – Nothing special.
Dorothy McFalls – The Nude – Abused widow gets obsessive new husband. How wonderfully unhealthy!
Suzanna Medeiros – Pedestrian, and I hate it when they’re both insanely beautiful.
Kate Noble – Very good, just not my style: Regency spies, mostly chaste.
Amelia Nolan – Although I absolutely APPLAUD the feminist sexuality of the heroine.
Anya Wylde – Oh, honey, no.

The Shameful Tally 2012

  1. In the Arms of a Marquess – Katharine Ashe (Ben)
  2. The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie – Jennifer Ashley (Ian, not surprisingly/Beth)
  3. Lady Isabella’s Scandalous Marriage – Jennifer Ashley (Mac/Isabella)
  4. Many Sins of Lord Cameron – Jennifer Ashley (Cameron/Ainsley)
  5. The Duke’s Perfect Wife – Jennifer Ashley (Hart/Eleanor)
  6. Mackenzie Family Christmas: The Perfect Gift – Jennifer Ashley (Ian, Mac, Cam, Hart)
  7. The Seduction of Elliott McBride – Jennifer Ashley (Elliott/Juliana) – CBRV Review
  8. Slightly Scandalous – Mary Balogh (Joshua/Freya)
  9. Slightly Dangerous – Mary Balogh (Wulfric, no, seriously, WULFRIC/Christine) CLASSIC
  10. Simply Perfect – Mary Balogh (Joseph/Claudia)
  11. Simply Love – Mary Balogh (Sydnam/Anne)
  12. The Soldier – Grace Burrowes (Devlin)
  13. Lady Sophia’s Christmas Wish – Grace Burrowes (Vim/Wilhelm)
  14. Miss Wonderful – Loretta Chase (Alistair/Mirabel)
  15. Mr. Impossible – Loretta Chase (Rupert/Daphne)
  16. Lord Perfect – Loretta Chase (Benedict/Bathsheba)
  17. Not Quite a Lady – Loretta Chase (Darius/Charlotte)
  18. Last Night’s Scandal – Loretta Chase (Lord Lisle/Olivia)
  19. Captives of the Night – Loretta Chase (Ismal/Leila)
  20. Lord of Scoundrels – Loretta Chase (Sebastian, Marquess of Dain/Jessica) CLASSIC
  21. The Last Hellion – Loretta Chase (Vere/Lydia)
  22. Silk Is for Seduction – Loretta Chase (Gervase, Lord Clevedon/)
  23. Scandal Wears Satin – Loretta Chase (Harry, Lord Longmore/Sophy)
  24. One Dance with a Duke – Tessa Dare (Spencer/Amelia)
  25. Twice Tempted by a Rogue – Tessa Dare (Rhys/Merry)
  26. Three Nights with a Scoundrel – Tessa Dare (Julian/Lily)
  27. The Scandalous, Dissolute, No-Good Mr. Wright – Tessa Dare novella (Harry/Eliza)
  28. A Night to Surrender – Tessa Dare (Bram/Susanna)
  29. Once Upon a Winter’s Eve – Tessa Dare novella (Christian/Violet)
  30. A Week to Be Wicked – Tessa Dare (Colin/Minerva)
  31. A Lady by Midnight – Tessa Dare (Thorne/Kate)
  32. The Duke’s Tattoo – Miranda Davis (Ainsworth)
  33. The Duchess – Jude Deveraux (Trevelyan)
  34. Almost Perfect – Denise Domning (Lucien)
  35. A Lady’s Lesson in Scandal – Meredith Duran (Simon/Nell)
  36. Wicked Becomes You – Meredith Duran (Alex/Gwen)
  37. Always a Scoundrel – Suzanne Enoch (Bram/Rosamund)
  38. A Beginner’s Guide to Rakes – Suzanne Enoch (Oliver/Diane)
  39. Taming an Impossible Rogue – Suzanne Enoch (Keating/Camille)
  40. Rules of an Engagement – Suzanne Enoch (Shaw/Zephyr, I’m not making that up)
  41. A Lady’s Guide to Improper Behaviour – Suzanne Enoch (Tolly, Bartholomew/Tess)
  42. To Challenge the Earl of Cravenswood – Bronwen Evans novella (Henry) (God awful)
  43. Outlander – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie/Claire) CLASSIC
  44. Dragonfly in Amber – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie/Claire)
  45. Voyager – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie/Claire)
  46. Drums of Autumn – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie/Claire)
  47. The Fiery Cross – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie/Claire)
  48. A Breath of Snow and Ashes – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie/Claire)
  49. An Echo in the Bone – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie/Claire)
  50. Saving Grace – Julie Garwood (Gabriel/Joanna, I think)
  51. The Gift – Julie Garwood (Nathan/Sara)
  52. Ransom – Julie Garwood (Brodick/Gillian)
  53. Honour’s Splendour – Julie Garwood (Duncan/Madelyne)
  54. Prince Charming – Julie Garwood (Lucas)
  55. The Bride – Julie Garwood (Alec/Jamie)
  56. A Gentleman Undone – Cecilia Grant (Will/Lydia)
  57. Scandal of the Year – Linda Lee Guhrke (Aidan/Julia)
  58. The Wild One – Danelle Harmon (Gareth)
  59. The Wicked One – Danelle Harmon (Lucien, I know)
  60. She Tempts the Duke – Lorraine Heath (Sebastian/Mary)
  61. Lord of Temptation – Lorraine Heath (Tristan/Anne)
  62. The Raven Prince – Elizabeth Hoyt (Edward)
  63. How to Woo a Reluctant Lady – Sabrina Jeffries (Giles)
  64. One Starlit Night – Carolyn Jewel novella (Crispin)
  65. Surrender – Lisa Kleypas novella (Jason)
  66. Stranger in My Arms – Lisa Kleypas (Hunter)
  67. Suddenly You – Lisa Kleypas (Jack/Amanda)
  68. Then Came You – Lisa Kleypas (Alex/Lily)
  69. Dreaming of You – Lisa Kleypas (Derek/Sarah) CLASSIC
  70. Where’s My Hero – Lisa Kleypas Novella (Jake/Lydia, but actually read for Derek)
  71. Somewhere I’ll Find You – Lisa Kleypas (Damon, Lord Savage [!]/Julia)
  72. Because You’re Mine – Lisa Kleypas (Logan/Madeline)
  73. Where Dreams Begin – Lisa Kleypas (Zachary/Holland Taylor [!]) FAVE
  74. Someone to Watch Over Me – Lisa Kleypas (Grant/Victoria)
  75. Lady Sophia’s Lover – Lisa Kleypas (Ross/Sophia)
  76. Worth Any Price – Lisa Kleypas (Nick/Charlotte)
  77. Again the Magic – Lisa Kleypas (McKenna/Aline plus the spectacular Gideon/Livia)
  78. Secrets of a Summer Night – Lisa Kleypas Wallflowers Book 1 (Simon/Annabelle) FAVE
  79. It Happened One Autumn – Lisa Kleypas Wallflowers Book 2 (Marcus/Lillian)
  80. The Devil in Winter Lisa Kleypas Wallflowers Book 3 (Sebastian/Evie) CLASSIC
  81. Scandal in the Spring – Lisa Kleypas Wallflowers Book 4 (Matthew/Daisy)
  82. A Wallflower Christmas – Lisa Kleypas (Rafe/Hannah, but really Sebastian & Simon)
  83. Mine till Midnight – Lisa Kleypas Hathaways Book 1 (Cam/Amelia)
  84. Seduce Me at Sunrise – Lisa Kleypas Hathaways Book 2 (Kev/Win)
  85. Tempt Me at Twilight – Lisa Kleypas Hathaways Book 3 (Harry/Poppy) – FAVE
  86. Married by Morning – Lisa Kleypas Hathaways Book 4 (Leo/Catherine)
  87. Love in the Afternoon – Lisa Kleypas Hathaways Book 5 (Christopher/Beatrix)
  88. Temptation and Surrender – Stephanie Laurens (Jonas)
  89. An Ideal Bride – Stephanie Laurens (Michael)
  90. One Night in London – Caroline Linden (Edward/Francesca)
  91. Blame It on Bath – Caroline Linden (Gerard/Kate)
  92. The Way to a Duke’s Heart – Caroline Linden (Charlie/Tessa)
  93. The Heir – Johanna Lindsey (Duncan)
  94. To Love a Thief – Julie Anne Long (Gideon/Lily)
  95. The Perils of Pleasure – Julie Anne Long (Colin/Madeline)
  96. Like No Other Lover – Julie Anne Long (Miles/Cynthia)
  97. Since the Surrender – Julie Anne Long (Chase/Rosalind)
  98. I Kissed an Earl – Julie Anne Long (Asher/Violet)
  99. What I Did for a Duke – Julie Anne Long (Alex/Genevieve) CLASSIC
  100. How the Marquess Was Won – Julie Anne Long (Julian/Phoebe)
  101. A Notorious Countess Confesses – Julie Anne Long (Adam/Evie, I know)
  102. Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake – Sarah MacLean (Gabriel/Calpurnia)
  103. Eleven Scandals to Start to Win a Duke’s Heart – Sarah MacLean (Simon/Isabella)
  104. A Rogue by Any Other Name – Sarah MacLean (Michael, Bourne/Penelope)
  105. Proof by Seduction – Courtney Milan (Gareth/Jenny)
  106. Trial By Desire – Courtney Milan (Ned)
  107. The Lady Always Wins – Courtney Milan novella (Simon/Virginia)
  108. Unveiled – Courtney Milan (Ash/Margaret)
  109. Unclaimed – Courtney Milan (Mark/Jessica)
  110. Unraveled – Courtney Milan (Smite/Miranda) CLASSIC
  111. Unlocked – Courtney Milan Novella (Evan/Elaine)
  112. The Governess Affair – Courtney Milan Novella (Hugo/Serena)
  113. What Happened at Midnight – Courtney Milan novella (John/Mary)
  114. The Duchess War – Courtney Milan (Robert/Minerva)
  115. A Kiss for Midwinter – Courtney Milan novella (Jonas/Lydia) CLASSIC
  116. Almost Heaven – Judith McNaught (Ian/Elizabeth) OLD SCHOOL
  117. Once and Always – Judith McNaught (Jason/Victoria)
  118. The Rake – Mary Jo Putney (Reggie)
  119. Everything and the Moon – Julia Quinn (Robert/Victoria)
  120. Brighter Than the Sun – Julia Quinn (Charles/Ellie)
  121. The Duke and I – Julia Quinn Bridgerton Book 1 (Simon/Daphne)
  122. The Viscount Who Loved – Julia Quinn Bridgerton Book 2 (Anthony/Kate)
  123. An Offer from a Gentleman – Julia Quinn Bridgerton Book 3 (Benedict/Sophy)
  124. Romancing Mr. Bridgerton – Julia Quinn Bridgerton Book 4 (Colin/Penelope)
  125. To Sir Phillip, With Love – Julia Quinn Bridgerton Book 5 (Phillip/Eloise)
  126. When He Was Wicked – Julia Quinn Bridgerton Book 6 (Michael/Francesca)
  127. It’s In His Kiss – Julia Quinn Bridgerton Book 7 (Gareth/Hyacinth)
  128. What Happens In London – Julia Quinn (Harry/Olivia)
  129. Ten Things I Love About You – Julia Quinn (Sebastian/Annabel)
  130. Just Like Heaven – Julia Quinn (Marcus/Honoria)
  131. A Night Like This – Julia Quinn (Daniel/Anne)
  132. Whisky Dreams – Ranae Rose novella (Brom/John)
  133. Vows – LaVyrle Spencer (Tom/Emily)
  134. The Wallflower – Who Cares (Noah)
  135. A Rose in Winter – Kathleen Woodiwiss (Christopher/Erienne)

134 books/40+ authors

Popular Hero Names: 6 Simon, 4 Alex/Alec, 4 Harry, 4 Sebastian

In the Pipe

Knaves Wager – Loretta Chase (Julian) – It’s stuck in the pipe, really.

Attempted

Lord of Vengeance – Lara Adrian (Gunnar – Medieval. Nope.)
More Than a Mistress – Mary Balogh (the hero shares my real life first name, couldn’t do it)
Swept Away – Marsha Canham (Emory)
Other Repetitive Titles – Grace Burrowes
Something Awful – Liz Carlyle (Stefan)
A Gentleman Never Tells – Amelia Gray (The first Benjamin – how is that possible?)
Notorious Pleasures – Elizabeth Hoyt (Griffin)
Wicked Intentions – Elizabeth Hoyt (Lord Caire)
Seriously Awful – Eloisa James (I can’t even remember the name)
2 Hellion of Halstead Books – Sabrina Jeffries (Gabriel and Jarret)
Sex and the Single Earl – Vanessa Kelly (Simon – I couldn’t resist the cheesy title. I should have.)
All’s Fair in Love and Seduction – Beverly Kendall (Derek)
Midnight Angel – Lisa Kleypas (Lucas)
His at Night – Sherry Thomas (Vere)
Ravishing the Duchess – Sherry Thomas (Fitzhugh) – I just can’t with Sherry Thomas