- They’re cold? What about the poor coachman on top of the carriage?
- Nervous heroes always rub the back of their neck. Nervous heroines always bite their lips.
- I wish I could do that sardonic raised eyebrow thing. People in these books always can.
- Should I be hearing this with an English accent?
- How do they kiss with that height difference?
- Aren’t they freezing?
- Just how big is this bed?
- Yes, I’m sure the servants just love them.
- That’s a lot of tongue.
- There are more soldiers in Regency romances with PTSD than served in the Napoleonic Wars.
- Does that bonnet come with a shepherd’s crook?
- It doesn’t come with any peripheral vision, that’s certain.
- It only takes a couple of pins to hold up waist length hair?
- That’s not really feasible in the bathtub you just described.
- Oh! Gloves. They’re probably wearing gloves. Mental note: Gloves.
- That’s not how prostitution works.
- He/she has been unconscious for days. I wouldn’t kiss someone with that breath.
- Wouldn’t her hair be stuck to them with sweat? Doesn’t her hair get caught underneath them?
- Didn’t you have to provide your own sheets in hotels back then?
- Historically speaking, shouldn’t this guy have some truly ridiculous facial hair?
- This castle should have a lot more minions.
- She certainly got over her shyness quickly.
- Aren’t nineteenth century settees too narrow for that sort of thing?
- “Prinny”? I’m out.
- You do not get to use “Lud” and “demme” AND “co*k” and “@ss”. Pick a lane.
- You cannot make a gown by hand in 6 hours.
- Shouldn’t she be wearing a corset?
- That wouldn’t rip so easily.
- The shift would rip. I’ll give you that.
- He’s sardonic and just called her “Sweetheart”? I am so in.
- Their hips brushed while dancing? You just said he’s a foot taller than her!
- Could she sit in his lap while wearing a bustle?
- I do so love a marriage of convenience plot.
- Seriously? He just licked the roof of her mouth?
- This whole House of Lords thing is quite a racket.
- What is with the dress on the cover?
- Unclean, UNCLEAN! (Specific to anything set before 1800)
- Why do all romance novel children, no matter their age, act 5?
- Shouldn’t they have more luggage?
- And a second conveyance for luggage and servants?
- Yes, I’m sure all of the “house wenches” are happy and safe.
- I didn’t realise PTSD could be so selective in its outbursts.
- That is not a pet that can be house-trained.
- Her corset would slice her in half, if she bent over like that.
- Bait and switch infertility, a romance author’s best friend.
- Someone would have walked in on them.
- Of course, the hero/heroine is the ONLY ONE with the necessary medical knowledge.
- Another audition for a practically perfect prospective step-parent passed.
I also have a list of things that occur to me while reading contemporary romance novels.
My reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.
I too, have wondered how the heck you go about licking the roof of someone’s mouth. It seems tricky. Some of the excessively “open-mouthed” kissing tends to strike me as a bit squicky as well, mainly because I get the mental image of the dude opening his mouth wide enough to perform mouth to mouth, which isn’t exactly erotic.
In one of my first reviews, I went on at length about the whole Gene Simmons-y-ness of the kissing in romance novels. Uck.