Mrs. Julien Presents

Once upon a time, I had a physical at work that was only mildly violating and in many ways long overdue. My blood work was “beauteous” and my reminders of things that women should take care of underneath their shifts duly noted. But then the mole patrol and the questions and the clucking of tongues and the needing to have things looked at.

I was given an appointment for a free freckle check with a dermatologist they bring onsite. It was not all that I had hoped: I had not braced myself for the thoroughness and en dishabille requirements of the check, but submitted to them nonetheless as I am sepulchrally-pale and wont to burn. They discovered a localized build up of pigment just below my left shoulder blade. They examined it with whatever dermatologists call their jeweler’s loup and declared it excise worthy.

One week ago, I attended the dermatologist’s office for the necessary gouging and sewing. I experienced the unique joy of seeing the aforementioned suspicious lump sitting like a flesh divot on the instrument table.

Yesterday, I returned to the scene of the gouging for my results:

Nurse: It’s a good thing we removed that mole. It was a [insert latin term here] and those are judged as mild, moderate or severe. Yours was moderate to severe, but we got all of it out.
Me: So it was cancerous?
Nurse: No, it was a kind of mole that can become a (sotto voce) melanoma but not the kind caused by the sun.
Me: So it was pre-cancerous?
Nurse: No, it was just the kind of thing that could become so, but not the kind caused by the sun.
Me: So it was something that could maybe, possibly, in the long run have the potential to perhaps become cancerous?
Nurse: Yes, but not the kind caused by the sun.
Me: So it was nothing.

I am still waiting to find out how much “nothing” is going to cost me.

From Pajiba July 2011 ($400)

Links to my reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.

February 2015: Links to my other reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful which includes all of the books I have read to date.

This list was incorporated into The (Shameful) Tally 2013.

Cannonball Read Reviewed Books Are in Bold

1. In the Arms of a Marquess – Katharine Ashe (Ben)
2. The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie – Jennifer Ashley (Ian, not surprisingly)
3. Lady Isabella’s Scandalous Marriage – Jennifer Ashley (Mac)
4. Many Sins of Lord Cameron – Jennifer Ashley (Cameron)
5. The Duke’s Perfect Wife – Jennifer Ashley (Hart)
6. Mackenzie Family Christmas: The Perfect Gift – Jennifer Ashley (Ian, Mac, Cam, Hart)
7. The Seduction of Elliott McBride – Jennifer Ashley (Elliott) – CBRV Review
8. Simply Perfect – Mary Balogh (Joseph)
9. Simply Love – Mary Balogh (Sydnam)
10. Slightly Scandalous – Mary Balogh (Joshua)
11. Slightly Dangerous – Mary Balogh (Wulfric, no, seriously, WULFRIC)
12. The Soldier – Grace Burrowes (Devlin)
13. Lady Sophia’s Christmas Wish – Grace Burrowes (Vim/Wilhelm)
14. Miss Wonderful – Loretta Chase (Alistair)
15. Mr. Impossible – Loretta Chase (Rupert)
16. Lord Perfect – Loretta Chase (Benedict)
17. Not Quite a Lady – Loretta Chase (Darius)
18. Last Night’s Scandal – Loretta Chase (Lord Lisle)
19. Captives of the Night – Loretta Chase (Ismal)
20. Lord of Scoundrels – Loretta Chase (Sebastian, Marquess of Dain)
21. The Last Hellion – Loretta Chase (Vere)
22. Silk Is for Seduction – Loretta Chase (Lord Clevedon/Gervase)
23. Scandal Wears Satin – Loretta Chase (Lord Longmore/Harry)
24. One Dance with a Duke – Tessa Dare (Spencer)
25. Twice Tempted by a Rogue – Tessa Dare (Rhys)
26. Three Nights with a Scoundrel – Tessa Dare (Julian)
27. The Scandalous, Dissolute, No-Good Mr. Wright – Tessa Dare novella (Harry)
28. A Night to Surrender – Tessa Dare (Bram)
29. Once Upon a Winter’s Eve – Tessa Dare novella (Christian)
30. A Week to Be Wicked – Tessa Dare (Colin)
31. A Lady by Midnight – Tessa Dare (Samuel)
32. The Duke’s Tattoo – Miranda Davis (Ainsworth)
33. The Duchess – Jude Deveraux (Trevelyan)
34. Almost Perfect – Denise Domning (Lucien)
35. A Lady’s Lesson in Scandal – Meredith Duran (Simon)
36. Wicked Becomes You – Meredith Duran (Alex)
37. Always a Scoundrel: The Notorious Gentlemen – Suzanne Enoch (Bramwell)
38. A Beginner’s Guide to Rakes – Suzanne Enoch (Oliver)
39. Taming an Impossible Rogue – Suzanne Enoch (Keating)
40. Rules of an Engagement – Suzanne Enoch (Shaw)
41. A Lady’s Guide to Improper Behaviour – Suzanne Enoch (Tolly/Bartholomew)
42. To Challenge the Earl of Cravenswood – Bronwen Evans novella (Henry) (God awful)
43. Outlander – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie)
44. Dragonfly in Amber – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie)
45. Voyager – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie)
46. Drums of Autumn – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie)
47. The Fiery Cross – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie)
48. A Breath of Snow and Ashes – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie)
49. An Echo in the Bone – Diana Gabaldon (Jamie)
50. Saving Grace – Julie Garwood (Gabriel)
51. The Gift – Julie Garwood (Nathan)
52. Ransom – Julie Garwood (Brodick)
53. Honour’s Splendour – Julie Garwood (Duncan)
54. Prince Charming – Julie Garwood (Lucas)
55. The Bride – Julie Garwood (Alec)
56. A Gentleman Undone – Cecilia Grant (Will)
57. Scandal of the Year – Linda Lee  Guhrke (Aidan)
58. The Wild One – Danelle Harmon (Gareth)
59. The Wicked One – Danelle Harmon (Lucien, I know)
60. She Tempts the Duke – Lorraine Heath (Sebastian)
61. Lord of Temptation – Lorraine Heath (Tristan)
62. The Raven Prince – Elizabeth Hoyt (Edward)
63. How to Woo a Reluctant Lady – Sabrina Jeffries (Giles)
64. One Starlit Night – Carolyn Jewel novella (Crispin)
65. Surrender – Lisa Kleypas novella (Jason)
66. Stranger in My Arms – Lisa Kleypas (Hunter)
67. Suddenly You – Lisa Kleypas (Jack)
68. Then Came You – – Lisa Kleypas (Alex)
69. Dreaming of You – Lisa Kleypas (Derek)
70. Where’s My Hero – Lisa Kleypas Novella (Jake, but actually read for Derek)
71. Somewhere I’ll Find You – Lisa Kleypas (Damon, Lord Savage [!])
72. Because You’re Mine – Lisa Kleypas (Logan)
73. Where Dreams Begin – Lisa Kleypas (Zachary)
74. Someone to Watch Over Me – Lisa Kleypas (Grant)
75. Lady Sophia’s Lover – Lisa Kleypas (Ross)
76. Worth Any Price – Lisa Kleypas (Nick)
77. Again the Magic – Lisa Kleypas (McKenna with a bonus Gideon)
78. Secrets of a Summer Night – Lisa Kleypas (Simon)
79. It Happened One Autumn – Lisa Kleypas (Marcus)
80. The Devil in Winter – Lisa Kleypas (Sebastian)
81. Scandal in the Spring – Lisa Kleypas (Matthew)
82. A Wallflower Christmas – Lisa Kleypas (Rafe, but really Sebastian & Simon)
83. Mine till Midnight – Lisa Kleypas (Cam)
84. Seduce Me at Sunrise – Lisa Kleypas (Merripen)
85. Tempt Me at Twilight – Lisa Kleypas (Harry)
86. Married by Morning – Lisa Kleypas (Leo)
87. Love in the Afternoon – Lisa Kleypas (Christopher)
88. Temptation and Surrender – Stephanie Laurens (Jonas)
89. An Ideal Bride – Stephanie Laurens (Michael)
90. One Night in London – Caroline Linden (Edward)
91. Blame It on Bath – Caroline Linden (Gerard)
92. The Way to a Duke’s Heart – Caroline Linden (Charlie)
93. The Heir – Johanna Lindsey (Duncan)
94. To Love a Thief – Julie Anne Long (Gideon)
95. The Perils of Pleasure – Julie Anne Long (Colin)
96. Like No Other Lover – Julie Anne Long (Miles)
97. Since the Surrender – Julie Anne Long (Chase)
98. I Kissed an Earl – Julie Anne Long (Asher)
99. What I Did for a Duke – Julie Anne Long (Alex)
100. How the Marquess Was Won – Julie Anne Long (Julian/Jules)
101. A Notorious Countess Confesses – Julie Anne Long (Adam)
102. Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake – Sarah MacLean (Gabriel)
103. Eleven Scandals to Start to Win a Duke’s Heart – Sarah MacLean (Simon)
104. A Rogue by Any Other Name – Sarah MacLean (Michael)
105. Proof by Seduction – Courtney Milan (Gareth)
106. Trial By Desire – Courtney Milan (Ned)
107. The Lady Always Wins – Courtney Milan novella (Simon)
108. Unveiled – Courtney Milan (Ash)
109. Unclaimed – Courtney Milan (Mark)
110. Unraveled – Courtney Milan (Smite)
111. Unlocked – Courtney Milan Novella (Evan)
112. The Governess Affair – Courtney Milan Novella (Hugo)
113. What Happened at Midnight – Courtney Milan novella (John)
114. The Duchess War – Courtney Milan (Robert)
115. A Kiss for Midwinter – Courtney Milan novella (Jonas)
116. Almost Heaven – Judith McNaught (Ian)
117. Something Wonderful – Judith McNaught (Jason)
118. The Rake – Mary Jo Putney (Reggie)
119. Everything and the Moon – Julia Quinn (Robert)
120. Brighter Than the Sun – Julia Quinn (Charles)
121. The Duke and I – Julia Quinn (Simon)
122. The Viscount Who Loved Me – Julia Quinn (Anthony)
123. An Offer from a Gentleman – Julia Quinn (Benedict)
124. Romancing Mr. Bridgerton – Julia Quinn (Colin)
125. When He Was Wicked – Julia Quinn (Michael)
126. It’s In His Kiss – Julia Quinn (Gareth)
127. What Happens In London – Julia Quinn (Harry)
128. Ten Things I Love About You – Julia Quinn (Sebastian)
129. Just Like Heaven – Julia Quinn (Marcus)
130. A Night Like This – Julia Quinn (Daniel)
131. Whisky Dreams – Ranae Rose novella (Brom and John)
132. Vows – LaVyrle Spencer (Tom)
133. The Wallflower – Who Cares (Noah)
134. A Rose in Winter – Kathleen Woodiwiss (Christopher)

134 books/40+ authors since February

Popular Hero Names: 6 Simon, 4 Alex/Alec, 4 Harry, 4 Sebastian

In the Pipe

Knaves Wager – Loretta Chase (Julian) – It’s stuck in the pipe, really.

The Auto-Buy List
Tessa Dare
Lisa Kleypas (if she ever writes another historical)
Julie Anne Long
Sarah MacLean
Courtney Milan

The Auto-Library/Cheap on Kindle List
Jennifer Ashley (I love/hate her. I’m not sure I recommend her.)
Loretta Chase (reliable)
Suzanne Enoch (in a pinch)
Lorraine Heath (if there’s nothing else)
Caroline Linden (she’s a comer)
Julia Quinn (An excellent place to launch your reading. Start with The Bridgertons)

Actually, I have more elaborate rules than this, but it’s a good start.

Attempted –

Lord of Vengeance – Lara Adrian (Gunnar – Medieval. Nope.)
More Than a Mistress – Mary Balogh (the hero shares my real life first name, couldn’t do it)
Swept Away – Marsha Canham (Emory)
Other Repetitive Titles – Grace Burrowes
Something Awful – Liz Carlyle (Stefan)
A Gentleman Never Tells – Amelia Gray (The first Benjamin – how is that possible?)
Notorious Pleasures – Elizabeth Hoyt (Griffin)
Wicked Intentions – Elizabeth Hoyt (Lord Caire)
Seriously Awful – Eloisa James (I can’t even remember the name)
2 Hellion of Halstead Books – Sabrina Jeffries (Gabriel and Jarret)
Sex and the Single Earl – Vanessa Kelly (Simon – I couldn’t resist the cheesy title. I should have.)
All’s Fair in Love and Seduction – Beverly Kendall (Derek)
Midnight Angel – Lisa Kleypas (Lucas)
His at Night – Sherry Thomas (Vere)
Ravishing the Duchess – Sherry Thomas (Fitzhugh) – I just can’t with Sherry Thomas

Plus The Notably Shorter Shamefree Tally…

Cannonball Read Reviewed Books Are in Bold

1. Sleepwalk with Me – Mike Birbiglia
2. The Taming of the Shrew – (do I really need to note the author?)
3. The Invention of Hugo Cabret – Brian Selznick
4. The Magician’s Elephant – Kate DiCamillo
5. The Scottish Prisoner – Diana Gabaldon (more of a skim for Jamie Fraser really)

The Outlander books were originally on here, but it’s more honest to include them on The Shameful Tally instead.